


Cygnus

by onetwothreefour



Category: Watchmen (Comic)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 17:37:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11362326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetwothreefour/pseuds/onetwothreefour
Summary: The story of an ugly duckling who never becomes a swan.





	Cygnus

Walter is eight years old. When his bullies taunt him, they mock his short stature, his ill-fitting clothes, and his uncertain paternity. They do not mention his face. His own mother is not so politic, and will not hesitate to refer to him as ugly when he has displeased her. She tells him he gets it from his father, but he knows this is a lie; he can see his own ugliness reflected in her bloated, reddened face. Walter is sure his father was a handsome man.

Walter is twelve. He has adjusted well to life in the home, and spends most of his time in the library. After he reads 'The Ugly Duckling', he stares at himself in a mirror and wonders if there is any truth in the story. Perhaps, if he waits long enough, he will become less like his mother and more like his father.

Walter is fifteen, and has not grown into a swan. Features that were endearing in a child—flat upturned nose, crooked teeth, freckles—look out of place on a face that is gaunt before its time, and the resultant visage is disconcerting at best. His brow is low and jutting, covered by unruly eyebrows that merge in the centre. His ears are too large and too low and stick out. His eyes, still the color of mud, are too small for his head.

Walter is seventeen years old and works in a garment factory—right at the back, where even the other workers can't see him. People on the street stare at him until he starts staring back, forcing them to turn away in hollow shame.

Walter is eighteen, and comes to terms with his own homosexuality. It seems immaterial when men and women are equally repulsed by him.

Walter is twenty-four, and has just learned that everyone is ugly. He makes himself a new face, one that lacks any human features, and wears it to frighten the ugliest of all, though he sometimes wonders if it would be more effective to unmask mid-fight.

Walter is twenty-six and standing in a room full of people in costumes. Most are wearing masks, but he is the only one covering his entire face. He poses for a group picture, and for a moment he is surprised that the photographer doesn't grimace or look at him in pity. The lights are too bright and too hot, and the close physical contact makes him uneasy, but he grins nonetheless, a smile revealed only in the shifting ink of Rorschach's face.

Walter is thirty years old, and now knows that nobody is immune to sin, not even one as ugly as himself. Daniel always asks him to wear the mask during sex. He tells him it excites him. Walter sees through the ruse, but plays along with the nonexistent fantasy to avoid confrontation, confident that this is his only chance for something resembling happiness. When he cries, he is grateful that Daniel cannot see.

Walter is thirty-five and standing over the body of a dead dog with his eyes shut, but Rorschach is the one who opens them. He disguises himself with a face that is not his own, as Walter once did. He observes others' reactions to his disguise and comes to the conclusion that—like his true face—it is something of a projection test, a mirror in which others see their own ugliness.

Walter is forty-five years old, and Rorschach is ten. They stand together in the snow, facing down a God. Rorschach removes his face, and Walter begs Manhattan to end them both. His eyes are red, his nose is running and he's starting to show signs of frostbite. He's old and tired. Walter is uglier than he has ever been, and still he will never be as ugly as the world is. He begs again, and Manhattan removes him from it, and leaves the beautiful people to their utopia.


End file.
